Day # 25 – Bad Mother
Much guilt and ink has been spilled on the altar of good mothering. More than any generation before us, today’s mother can find any number of reasons to feel bad for her parenting skills. Coddle too much and you’re smothering. Give too much independence and you’re overly aloof. Wash hands too often and you’re raising [...]
Christmas has a self esteem problem. Or maybe our society does. We respond to our inadequacies and emotional bankruptcy by pimping out Christmas, putting garish make-up on it and prancing it out for an embarrassing show. I wish we’d stop. Christmas has always been wonderful. It is a cinnamony, pine-scented thing, a time of hopes [...]
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It could be argued that the lifetime process of growing up involves an increasing understanding of the fact that others’ experiences really do apply to you and are often a harbinger of what’s to come for you. When you’re young, it’s easy to distance yourself from war, or death, or bad decisions, with the gorgeously [...]
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From the 51 First Dates After Divorce Project blog: Yes, that’s right, I had a threesome on Date # 15. I didn’t know it was going to happen until right before it started. My date texted me about it a half hour before and I figured in the spirit of 51 First Dates and being [...]
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This past summer, after an unhappy divorce (is there any other kind?) and the implosion of the relationship that came afterward, I found myself contemplating all things love, romance and moving on. One thing I knew for certain: my methods and mindset when it came to finding satisfying relationships had not worked out well. Everything [...]
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Today I bought myself an entire box of Russell Stover chocolates. You know those boxes you get for Mother’s Day and your birthday sometimes (or, for the guys, the ones you buy)? It turns out they are sitting right there in the store, just waiting for you to buy them for yourself. I will be [...]
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I’m not great at finishing. I’m masterful at starting. I’m a dynamo of plans and activity, imagining the great heights I’ll reach and the wonderful masterpieces I’ll create. My ideas flash throughout the day – the home improvement projects I could start, the books I could write, the painting class I mean to get around [...]
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I picked up the phone and my daughter was sobbing on the other line. “Mommy, I’m hurt.” “Calm down, please. Tell me what happened.” “My knee. I fell down and it’s bleeding really bad. Daddy says I need stitches.” It’s not the worst case scenario, but it wasn’t really great either. I’m still getting used [...]
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When I step out of my class at 10:00 p.m., that makes 16 hours I’ve been obsessed about it. In classic recovering junkie style, I don’t tell myself I’ll go a whole day without it – that feels insurmountable. Instead, I make deals with myself. I’ll get the kids ready without having one. I’ll drive [...]
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On a sweltering day in the summer of 1983, I confronted my mother. “But, Mami, why can’t we join the town pool? It’s not fair!” I cried. Our rented home, for which my parents barely scraped payments every month, was a tidy hospital-green box perched on the side of a North Bergen, New Jersey hill, [...]
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