An emotional weekend, which perhaps I’ll write about one day soon. When I wrote an email about my thoughts to a writer friend, she shared the following sonnet. Today, I’ll let Edna St. Vincent Millay speak for me:
Well, I Have Lost You by Edna St. Vincent Millay
In my own way, and with my full consent.
Say what you will, kings in a tumbrel rarely
Went to their deaths more proud than this one went.
Some nights of apprehension and hot weeping
I will confess; but that’s permitted me;
Day dried my eyes; I was not one for keeping
Rubbed in a cage a wing that would be free.
If I had loved you less or played you slyly
I might have held you for a summer more,
But at the cost of words I value highly,
And no such summer as the one before.
Should I outlive this anguish – and men do –
I shall have only good to say of you.
(really more of a fast — celery
seed and a soft word every other
month) any longer. —
in me now and keep nudging me
towards the door. Bells are rung,
harps are played: recessional music.
We both know the theater will close
in a few minutes. If you had been
more attentive or a better pretender
I could have run on fumes for a few
more years, sipping snow melt,
remaining quite high on it.