In Writing

These are dark, dark days in our democracy. An infantile madman’s finger is twitching by the pardon pen to wipe away the rightful consequences of his crony’s actions. The same lunatic (and, oh, by the way, most powerful man in the world) has also just been named as an unindicted co-conspirator in a federal crime. The forces intended to keep him in check – most notably the lily-livered Congress – are straining, like a dam about to crumble into a pile of rubble and gushing, killing waters.

So, I ask you, isn’t this a great time to plan a party? An impeachment party!

The idea first came to me while reading through Twitter. In reaction to the Cohen/Manafort bombshells, someone said they were planning their impeachment party. While I think that day (if it is to ever come) is still a ways off, it is never too early to start planning a soiree.

I intended to offer up some snack ideas on Twitter (Collusion Cantaloupe Balls, Treason Tomato Salad) but didn’t, concerned that I might sound flip about one of the gravest dangers our country has ever faced. All indications seem to point to the unsettling and horrifying reality that our putative leader became that by conspiring with a foreign adversary, rendering us basically leader-less, under the rule of an illegitimate nut with his finger on the button. It is no laughing matter, and it is no time to fiddle while democracy burns.


One of the things that has kept me somewhat sane (my loved ones might disagree with that self-diagnosis) has been the torrent of spirit and creativity that has risen in the face of this monumental danger. Comedians have raised their game like never before in my lifetime. Social media is bursting with hilarious and biting memes that make me feel less alone. Podcasts are springing up like mushrooms, explaining everything from the constitutional law implications of this presidency, to the countless ways his criminal enterprise is profiting from the office (presidential golf markers! Trump Tower New Dehli!). “Lightness” is not frivolous, it’s a method of coping. I so often find myself depleted and terrified, wondering how we will survive this as a country. So if Stephen Colbert gets me through another white-knuckle news cycle, heck, so be it.

So back to my Impeachment Party. Now that I’ve explained that I understand the seriousness of what we’re facing, and that I would give anything for it not to be so, a few of the ideas I brainstormed while contemplating replying to that tweet:

  • Comey Kamikazes (this would have particular meaning to me, as the kamikaze was the drink of my club-going days, and, tart and biting as it is, would be a perfect drink to brace for what’s coming).
  • ImPeachMint Tea (laced with much alcohol).
  • Mueller Mule
  • Sessions Sausage Bites (really tiny)
  • FBI Fritters (alternative: FBI Fries)
  • Justice Jerk Chicken
  • Pence Pasta Salad (a limited supply of this, hopefully)
  • Lock Him Up Lox Bagels

And, lest you think that I’m the only one whistling past the graveyard of our country’s dignity, I invite you to go check out this post on The Cut, which has some great impeachment cocktail recipes. Full disclosure, I got the “ImPeachMint” idea from it: click here.

Or, heck, skip the party planning and just make yourself a cocktail now, and every morning before reading the news. We’ve got to make it through this somehow. Stay strong.

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